I don't really know what I'm doing. It's 2024, and I'm eight years into LEHMANN DESIGN HAUS. I know what you're thinking and I'm shocked too. That's a long time to be doing something and have yet to learn.
The truth? I've learned A LOT. Honestly, the landscape has just changed so much, and it's exhausting to keep up and feel the need to keep up as a small business. Yes, those are two different feelings.
When I started LDH in 2016, the internet, social media, being an entrepreneur, and running a small business were different. But over the years, my business has evolved to adapt to these changes, and I have, too. I put myself on the hamster wheel, and lately, I've been wanting off.
For years, I've led myself to believe that to be successful, I must have my product everywhere, and I must make X amount of dollars each month. Although those are definitely nice, I look at other brands that started around the same time as I did, and I wonder, are their hearts still in it the same as when they started? Or do they have a marketing team behind them, controlling their every move, watering down their own purpose? Are they even happy, or are they stressed?
So, what was my purpose when starting LDH? Honestly, it was because I needed something to get my mind off all the deeply personal emotions consuming me. So I picked up candlemaking, a hobby I toyed with doing in my head for years. My therapist also agreed that I could use a hobby. When I started making candles, I didn't know what I was doing. Surprisingly, there wasn't much on the internet at the time on how to make a candle or a fragrance, for that matter. Finding supplies was also more challenging than you would think. Today, you type in a keyword, and then all of a sudden, you're being marketed endless options of whatever. I didn't give up in my search, though, and eventually found some weird forums in different corners of the internet that led me to a candle supply store outside of Los Angeles. I gathered my supplies to start making my own candles and fragrances.
After much trial and error, I found that those forums also needed to learn what they were doing in the candlemaking space. Frustrated and stubborn, I took matters into my own hands and experimented with my calculations and formulations. I went through so many materials and time before I landed on an iteration of a candle that I could be proud of even sharing. I'm a perfectionist and have strong OCD tendencies, so it needed to be perfect before I even shared it with my friends and family.
I buried myself in the art of candlemaking. I wanted to make candles special, to give them more meaning than just being candles. I was proud of these natural candles I had made because, in 2016, natural candles weren't a subject matter yet. Then I got distracted by everyone in my ear offering their two cents on what I should do and how I should run LDH. More and more, I wasn't able to trust my own thoughts and direction with LDH. I started trying to be like other brands and I got stuck in a cog wheel that I made for myself.
The holidays were the time I lost myself the most to the cog wheel. Instead of getting lost in the art of candlemaking, my therapy, I got lost in the numbers. I was getting lost in a never ending game. I was becoming part of the holiday frenzy that I've NEVER enjoyed. Now, I was consumed by something new, and this time, it had created it. And I've been a willing participant.
So, this holiday season, I'm trying a new approach. I'm going to just be. I'm going to create because I want to. I'm going to share my art because I want to. I'm not going to compare myself to others. I will own my success instead of using benchmarks others place on me. This year, LDH will not be participating in the Black Friday and Cyber Monday frenzy. Instead, I'll have a minimalist offering leading up to Thanksgiving. After that, everything goes back to normal. I prefer quality over quantity. I prefer passion over profit.
x LEHMANN
